AND IM GONNA DO IT

well， HSAPPILY， the school festival endid in a great suxess， and yeah， its really terrific when you actually finish all the stuff you know.

to be honest， i was thinking that holland was like better japan， de facto， but afeter all， like experiencign the bunkasai this way， my opinion definitely changed. well， ive already written this on the other page， yeah.

and im here now， drunk.

well， i spent time with rockhog， kuri， and inner_muscle on the saturday after noon， and yea that was a kind of hte last uchiage for the bunkasai， considering the fact that they represent most of the schoo festival this year for me. well， maybe they represent my entire school life recentely (or not) but anyway， it was a comfortable time， ’hanigng out’ you know. lol

so， the school festival was fuckikng awesome you know.

KWL

ah and i coed to kaicho， i hope it went well， but god knows， and well， after all this is like the 30th time ive done it and hey， inner muscle was there， it couldnt have gone wrong.
oh and ive also mentioned that all of em knows when we were hanging around， well that was supposed to work tho.hehe

well need to consentrate on ohter stuff now

like b or w or STUDYOING!

ok， well cya^

well， as you know， im fukin busy， but i dont wanna write that on the other page cuz then it wont really seem as if im really busy cuz thats gonna indicate that i do have time to write stuff there after all， and so im writing so here. lol. whatever.

well， frankly speaking， oЛdNtiweNitノob went good， but not like REALLY good， so im yea， kinda starting to realize the limit of this obviously-not-forever challenge.
afterall， es an onk， and i have nothing to do with it.

but yea， itll be fine.

and yup， gotta do stuff now

cya0

well， like hey， the sports festivals over， yea，，，

（苦笑）

Mr.Age pointed out that im ’a bit tired and boring， かったるい’ recently. well， kinda into the issue actually.

k， like im not like making an excuse here， but im almost like a konyuusei here in this school， and i don’t know like how much you actually get involved to stuff and all that here for the school fes. YOU CANT JUST DO YOUR BEST FOR LITERALLY EVERYTHING LIKE A MORON， you know.

well， maybe i AM a moron but anyway，，，

japanese high school students are just sooooooooooooooooooo fucking busy.

like what the hell is this school festival FOR? anyway?

well， perhaps that might be exactly what i like about japan， but just for now， im hating it.:-P

and all those ’conflicts’.

A FREE FOR ALL!
FUCKEM ALL!!!

o， by the way， hairspray was boring.
high school musical was better.
and， naturally， i cought 会長’s cold and yea.
my throat was killing me today.
it was kinda fun tho， walking down Shimbashi at night.
a little bit like Shinjuku， but more businessmen around， DRUNK off course， lol.

AND， need to mention this，
got the ticket 4д8ин бр.
not materially youknow.
the permission.
:D

YEY

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well， i guess i need to face a bet here.

oh， not the one for the shuso thing but for neo.
as rockhog pointed out， i need to fit the last piece of the puzzle now， and i guess its kind of the right time to do it.
there would have been no point in doing [well， "putting effort" to be more specific] all that if i dont fit the last piece in， right?
the band， the trip， all that shits* you know. lol.
and either way， going bad or not， its not gonna matter in terms of my daily basis anyway and as a matter of fact， if it goes bad， id be able to concentrate on other issues [like bands or chuuyas， acting， bro， all those shits]
ah， but to be honest， neo isnt really a obstacle now， so theres no need to do this NECCESSARILY.

but you know， i dont like sticking to the status quo， and plus， IM A PERFECTIONIST.

this is something that has to be done.
and it will be.

’plain ol’ Jane told a story about a man who was too afraid to fly so he never did land.’

HOPE EVERYTHING GOES WELL.

REALLY DO.



PLEASE......

cya-

愁訴愁訴

lately.

well， obviously， its after the summer vacation， it seems relatively better， but anyhow， ging quite awesome.

so there was the BBS affair.
and well， basically using that， i made time.

rockhog; yea， twas like u guysr -------.

didnt know that.
huh，

doesnt sound like its gonna be a bad trimester you know.lol

cya--

suggested by me mom.
so whats neos position anyway?

а）хйз　джуст　фоллоуинг mij woorden "акт　аз　бифоор"
б）хй　акшуалй　lijks мй
в）хйз　нет　игзактлй　стрijт　maar хй　химсeлф　из　нет　шоор

i think v is actually possible.

donno.

これからどうなるんだろうね。
woods も bro も neo も。

cya

right?

whatever，

well， there was a lot to say acutually， about this summer vacation， although， id still exclaim that summervacation≠夏休み， but anyway， like say，

COMPARING WITH THE SUMMER VACATION LAST YEAR!?

know what i mean right? lol

lijk the fuckin mla format stuff， COMPARE AND CONTRAST

point 1: my birth day
last year: with ma xgf， going to stedelijk’s， drinking， walking around， WELL， BASICALLY DATING.
this year: THREE HANDBALL GAMES IN A DAY!， practically NO GIRLS around me， hanging out with a guy(omg， and can you believe that its rockhog? lol) for the night for a while.

JESUS， already kinda obvious.

point 2: meeting.... OK， LETS STOP HERE.

anyway， the transition is the key， the symbol.
Holland to Japan，
ISA to Tsukuwhatever，
isa friends to bukatsu stuff，
kaz， xgf to the guy friends around.

these transitionS ARE the KEYS.
the symbols. BUT ITS NOT JUST SYMBOLIC.

awe， man.

well， im not saying its a bad thing you knwo.
things change.

but few other keys.

a) me turning into 17， which makes the time living in japan longer than half of my life. now im more japanese than any other nationalities.
and b) me becoming more incapable of english.

SHIT

see?

and it fits the diagram.

i think from now on， this pages gonna become more of my english training than you know，， awe， well， actually maybe not， cuz probably its not exactly a "role change" but a role shift， where it gains anotehr job. wow， this is important man.

どっちにしても日本的に傾いた夏だった。

cya-

well， it was those times between exams.
like i went to class #3 n yea， wel， altho it was meant to be a sorta joke， i didnt like it kuz neo said f-off to me， well maybe witha bit nicer word， but anyway， and the thing was during hte next break.
so i was with bro fiddling around， betwenn 3，4 and neo showed up，

well， actualy thats it.

i dont he actually realizes the neo->bro transition. whatever tho.

lol

cya

gotta work

期末萎え

that she is cute.

rockhogs sister (god) actually did a good job.
hope he doesnt become snobbish tho.
ていうか調子乗り？笑

also， it seems like neo took the back up math class today cuz i was gonna take it， n yeah， thats it.

so what is it exactly that explains this whole thing?

PS almost rected when br sat on me

was all spent for art.
did the sculpture thing， talking with bro.
twas fun.

after finishing it， i headed to the station with e/one else， and woods mentioned soemthing as if he knew something. whatever thou.
he never has an evidence.

hate it when he talks without any proofs tho.

yea， anyway， a good day cuz got real close with bro.

so analyzing all the matters， i think i dont see neo as a love object.
ねぇわって言えるし。

so in that point of view， i only care about im cuz we were once in a situation where we werent having a good relationship. so， i guess i just want to think that its ok after all cuz WERE NOW GOOD FRIENDS. so in that way， the transision of neo->bro is completed.

i mean， i dont know what to think.

maybe this is just a temporary thing.
or not.

not sure.

two triggers thinking about this.

neo not wanting to hold hands，
neo not saying goodbye，
(rockhog n me in the same shirt.)

OH

by the way， today was real fun cuz we had double arts and during that， probably at leaast for an hour， me n bro were just chatting. hey， some progress.

cya-

im talking like， you know， impractical calculations like， if you have an indifferent card of the strength x， whats the probability of winning if ur the dealer and you have players of the number of N?

WinPn{DL;1;Indx}={(28+x)P(n-1)}/{(59)P(n-1)}
an equation i found.

or， other stuff like

WinPn{DL;1;Trx}=WinPn{DL;1;x}

well， the thing is that neo actually decided his topic something kinda similar to this. you know， pointless calculations just for fun. but thats not the point right? the point is that WE BOTH LIKE IT.
and he kinda admits it in a subliminal way.

whateva tho.

wzrdlgy， semi， and this IT presentation.

一本の線に繋が…らない
はい

cya-

最近クソ野郎化してるっぽい。
ダブルブッキングが多い。。。

よくないね。

ツルギ「早く行こうよー
くり「ツルギ、議長にべったりだね」

9d ot b9zμ μoY　woH ∃>lil tzμし， б9Y

19日に続く

意外とそこまで高くない。
ちょっと安心。

むしろ最後とかもろ。

だって、ウィザード一般化したんだぜ？笑

でもやっぱ苦悩（？）はのこる。
梶＆テツ

rockhogとかモロ「お前は梶のが良かった」つってくるしね。笑
くりが控え目に擁護してくれたけど。笑

ていうか、俺化学分かってなさ杉だしね。
まずそこからだよね。

well， so it was dance parties in holland.
they had them once in few months or something， so each time we had them， we， well especially menkaz used to look back at the situation when we had our last one. and it was always kinda fun， interesting， and DEEP to think about the changes now and then.

so， that was when we realized how much we changed since the last dance party ie withing few months.

now in japan， well， a lot different for sure.

first of all， we dont have girls， nor dance parties. and its only the festivals n stuff if we think about it. well， i guess the occurance of them resmebles tho.

but the thing is， that these festivals are anniversal. so， you are rather forced to think about the year before than thinking about the last whatever festival you had.

which makes things different.

or maybe its just the different situation that im in.
like， well， 男子校s are definitely not good u know.
U DONT FEEL LIKE YOURE MAKING A PROGRESS

well， the capitalized part was one of the topics we discussed today.

TODAY was fun.
interesting. like， i think it really did represented my current situation. hehe

ok， so it was the 音楽祭
i go to school earlier than usual， cbro dressed up [by the way， e was real，，， nice. looked i mean. perhaps this is the first ive ever felt that way]， fiddle around， and we had a practice for aproximately an hour.

when that was finished， we played wizard

c!? already many symbolic stuff!
like， hey， its the music festival， or hey e looks gr8， or， hey ist it only wizard that im doing? and stuff.

then we headed towards the hall， and woods was there.
this comes later.

we arrive at the 人見記念会館and yea， the festival starts.

rest time.

i make a promise with bro.

our go.
wasnt bad.

we were in 3d place. yey!
2組too tho.
well， fine.

after that， well， as we had planned， me， neo， tama， michael went together to sijzeriya， played wizard had a good time. we got kicked out after an hour and a half or something， so we then went to mc.
there， we talked for a while， and then， neo had to go home when it was almost 9.

after that， with the remaining three， we went to shinjuku， and had night-conversation outside. talked about all sorts a stuff.

恋愛、勉強、人生、反省、etc

michael mentioned that woods said i was probably the only one that he can truely trust and whatever. well， this is something that i better umm， yea， get moved?
michael heard this from him at kansai， so， hey. this is relavant isnit?

well， the thing that i was shocked was the fact that this was probably the FIRST time i had a conversation this long in japan， f2f. probably the last time was when i went back to holland last winter.
maybe we’re too busy in japan. ah， thats true.

well， anyway， today was really worthy.

the only thing im concerned about is that i never had a conversatoin like this with neo.

well， we’ll see how itll go.

cya-

以下引用

一瞬昔に戻ったかと思った
あたしの自分勝手な言葉
彼の時々すねたようになる口調
落ち着きのない、わがままな会話

懐かしいからこそ、もうやめようと思った
案外彼は近くにいるんだとわかったからこそ、もう近づくまいと思った
また恋に落ちるのが怖いなんてことはない
ただ彼といると、置いていくと決めた自分が戻ってきそうで嫌なんだ

やっぱり良い事言うね。

続けさせてやる。
何かは分かるよね

てか俺甘っ

me， neo and hogrock went to todai.
it was fun.

i think this makes the three of us something.

met takki-.
same.

that was all.

IT WAS FUN.

after that， they came to my house， played wizard and stuff. neo mentioned himself that hes been coming here a lot. i agree. maybe even the most. which is not at all a bad thing. lol
welcome.

yea， just thought that this day should be recorded as well.

neo- x
im- has the potential to become the second kaz
hogrock- a good friend

current relations.

nah， nothing special tho.

so in this arcticle， id like to just go through all the school trips i had in the past and also analyse this one just in order to make sense out of these.

Im not really sure where i should start.
should i... nah， never mind. ill start from the begining.

so i went to 八ヶ岳 when i was 小5. that was my first real school trip and i just remember that it was fun， but unfortunately i forgot the details. maybe there were some fun activities like キモ試しs n stuff.
yea there was.
i think the group was just soso.

next. when i was in 小6， i went to kamakura for the graduation trip. this time， i was with the group of YY and had some fun aspects as well. oh， cant forget the fact that i liked both of YYs that time. i also wanted to c YYs willy but failed to. too bad.

and in those two trips， i didnt really hussle [during the night] like i do in the following trips but i did show some of the aspects of that kinda person.

ok， i get to middle school， and the first trip was to myoko. I WAS GOD. really. i made more than the half of our class to come in one room in the middle of the night. its quite amazing how i did that thinking from now youknow. any way， the whole thing was my idea and i was with wood all the time. didnt really care about neo then. i just played all night every day. lol. that was fun.
we all got found by kato-u and had to do push ups 100 times. 記念すべき第一号だね。
also， 記念すべき反省文

then， i go to holland.

the first trip was the one when we went in 8th grade， the real end of it. HEY， THAT WAS WHEN I FIRST MET GREEN DAY. Miss Knox or whoever liked green day， and we all had to sing "time of your life". the trip itself was some kind of a scheme and we had a project to decide wheather if it is really a good idea to make a new highway (or was it just a road?) in that town or whatever. i was in the environemnt group and gathered some insects n stuff. some bug named nigger. lol
generally the trip was good， but since i had to be with tomoya all the time， ok， i think it would be fair enough to say that it wasnt great. could ave been better.

the next trip is the one that we went to Germany or somewhere right after we got to 9th grade. Ka’z was there. and that was the trip that I CAN NEVER FORGET. I SHOULDNT. I CANT. so at the first night， that was teh real first time when 俺とカズが意気投合した. 哲学の夜。星空。電流柵。怖がらせ。暗闇。なみ。ひゅんじゅん。soccer with strangers. they were nasty bastards.　曲がってるように見えるけど、実はまっすぐ。星空。wall climbing. 朝が予想以上に寒い。腕立て20回bradley. しゅのーカッコイイ。メリハリのある教師。ジャングルジム。BULLSHIT!　カズとゆり。 a small and fun surprise when ka’z was right behind the camping car waiting. 魔女リーがパスポートまさかの紛失。哲学の夜。
THAT WAS FUN. definitely.
1位かなぁ？

the next trip that i should mention is probably the one when we went sailing. The sailing trip in 10th grade. this was purely fun as well and i was with kaz and tomoya. the thing was that i was WITH poemwalker already and it was quite rommantic too. also i shouldnt forget that had was there too. this was real fun too.

then i come back.

we went to sugadaira in 高1.
this time， i was also with wood however， the situation was very different. so to be honest， i couldnt fully enjoy it.

and this one.
so i was with neo. this is a big point cuz yea， it kinda also symbolizes the one in kamakura like i was with YY.
and this one was GR8

でさ、結論としていいたいことは一つなんだよ。

俺は恵まれてる。

i need to be greatful.

ではでは

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